Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
