Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
