Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
