the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Randomize
