Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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