The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
