I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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