I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize