if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Randomize