Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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