this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
