Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
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