Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
im holly from the hills drunk
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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