He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
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He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
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Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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