yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
