just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
