her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
