The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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