last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
