please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
