Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Thank you for not boning my boss.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
