Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Randomize
