never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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