..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
