Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.