I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.