So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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