she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
