I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
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