Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
