Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(704): View more from North Carolina

We named our party play list daddy issues

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(205): View more from Alabama

i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.

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(740): View more from Ohio

I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.

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(815): View more from Illinois

I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?

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(505): View more from New Mexico

I have a theory he's part Neanderthal

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(310): View more from California

You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.

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