i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Damn victory sex feels great
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
