Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
