so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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