I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I party with great urgency now.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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