I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
