just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
