you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
