You don't have asthma, your pregnant
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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