The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
