508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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