Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
