pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize