Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
