Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
