you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
