What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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