Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
