dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize