I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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