This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
COCAINE IS GR8
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
