You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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