He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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