Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Randomize
