You're completely useless in the revolution.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
