my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
