i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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