It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Couch. On fire.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
